Alright, all you “I’ll be a writer some day” writers out there. It’s time for some tough love. Stop using the internet or a Netflix binge as an excuse for not writing and get writing! You know who you are. This is your kick in the pants.

1. It’s All Your Fault

No, really. Who decided to check Facebook? Who turned on the TV and went to Netflix? You. And if someone else turned it on, then leave the room. It’s no excuse. Turn off the TV, silence the Facebook notifications, and put down your phone. Heck, if you need to just disconnect from the internet because you still haven’t learned to be responsible, then do that! The only thing keeping you from writing is you.

Would Giorgio Tsoukalos lead you astray?

2. You’re Being a Lazyass

You don’t want to sit down and write? You’d rather binge watch Orange is the New Black on Netflix? Then who’s gonna write that novel? Because it sure as hell ain’t writing itself. Get off your butt, establish a quiet work space, get in the zone, and friggin’ write. A couch potato brain only wants to be fed. A writer’s brain wants to be the one supplying the food.

Go away. Too busy being lazy.

3. You Don’t Need the Internet for ‘Research’

Catching up on your YouTube feed, or stalking your idol on Instagram is not research. Lack of research is not keeping you from writing, you’re using it as an excuse. If you’re stuck on historical accuracy or can’t figure out the best way to dispose of a dismembered body, make a note and move on. Research should be saved for your actual down time, not for when you’re supposed to be immersed nose-deep in writing.

4. You Have No Imagination

This excuse is usually combined with one’s belief that they need the internet and television to survive. Your imagination won’t come forth if it’s held in a corner by funny cat gif’s and reruns of The Real Housewives. Go outside. Clean the kitchen. Lock yourself in a room. You have no imagination because you’ve frightened it into a corner by all the crap on the internet. Let the crap go and you’ll find your imagination will start peeking out to see if the coast is clear.

This coming from a talking sponge.

5. Stop Using Your Family as an Excuse

How many times have you used these excuses: I have to cook dinner. I have to help the kids with homework. I have to clean the house. I have to <insert activity to blame on the family> . Now, the single parent superhero aside, when dinner’s done, the homework’s worked, and the kids are in bed, you’d really rather scrub down the toilet than write? Or are you really just sitting on your rear end in front of the TV with your laptop tuned to Facebook? Who are you kidding here? Only yourself. Your family’s not the excuse, you are (see Point #1).

Are you still sitting on your bum reading this? Stop it! Get to writing, you lazy writer!