I want to be a lion tamer!
(As illustrated with gif’s. Cuz apparently that’s the hip thing to do)
Mention to someone you’re a computer programmer and no one bats an eye. Bus driver? Ah, no big deal. How about a professional lion tamer? Meh, I saw one at the circus last year. But mention you’re a writer and suddenly everyone has an opinion and an uninformed comment on your very passion.
Writers appear to be that niche interest that doesn’t qualify it’s pursuers as being contributing members of society. Likely when you tell someone you’re a writer, you’ll hear the following:
1. “So you write stories all day?”
Yeah that’s totally what I do, between the bus driving and the lion taming. Most indie writers still have full time jobs or attend college, you know.
2. “No, I mean, what’s your real job?”
Does writing have to be a job? You make it sound so tedious and unfulfilling. It’s a passion! It’s what gets me out of bed in the morning, aside from the fact that I have to get my butt to work on time.
3. “Oh how much does that make you? You pay your bills writing?”
I pay my bills the same way you do. It’s none of your cotton-pickin business how much I make.
4. “Well, I’ve always wanted to write a book too. But I’m just too busy with (insert super important thing here)”.
Hey I do those super important things too, like work, and pay my bills, and take care of my family too. You must not be very good at your super-special important whatever-the-hell you do if you don’t have time to pursue your dreams. Having a writing regimen is no different than having a workout regimen.
5. “Ah you must write under a pen name because I’ve never heard of you.”
Oh, so you’ve heard of the other 500,000 plus indie authors on Amazon and Barnes and Nobel then? Yeah, didn’t think so.
6. “My father’s brother’s nephew’s cousins’ former roommate knows a writer. He writes in this totally unrelated genre to you. You should ask him for advice.”
Thanks, but that’s what social media and the writers community is for. You wouldn’t take your car to a lawnmower repair shop now would you?
7. “When I retire and have nothing better to do with my time I think I’ll write a book.”
Don’t think I don’t see your passive aggressive attempt to put me down for wanting to be creative. You continue doing your own thing I’ll do mine. Far away. In the worlds I’ve created, cuz they’re so much better than your narrow-minded world.
8. “Oh hey. Could you proof read my resume and help me write a cover letter?”
Read the caption.
9. “Let me read your rough draft!”
Let me take a picture of you in your underwear rolling out of bed after a night out drinking. I’ll post it on Facebook, then we’ll call it a deal.
10. “No one reads nowadays.”
Well, I’m pretty certain in order to graduate elementary school, you have to know how to read. Just sayin’.
And just like that, ten of the most common things you will hear.
My work here is done.
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