Author of Teen Paranormal Fiction

Category: Writers are Weird

Five Kicks in the Pants for Writers

Alright, all you “I’ll be a writer some day” writers out there. It’s time for some tough love. Stop using the internet or a Netflix binge as an excuse for not writing and get writing! You know who you are. This is your kick in the pants.

1. It’s All Your Fault

No, really. Who decided to check Facebook? Who turned on the TV and went to Netflix? You. And if someone else turned it on, then leave the room. It’s no excuse. Turn off the TV, silence the Facebook notifications, and put down your phone. Heck, if you need to just disconnect from the internet because you still haven’t learned to be responsible, then do that! The only thing keeping you from writing is you.

Would Giorgio Tsoukalos lead you astray?

 

2. You’re Being a Lazyass

You don’t want to sit down and write? You’d rather binge watch Orange is the New Black on Netflix? Then who’s gonna write that novel? Because it sure as hell ain’t writing itself. Get off your butt, establish a quiet work space, get in the zone, and friggin’ write. A couch potato brain only wants to be fed. A writer’s brain wants to be the one supplying the food.

Go away. Too busy being lazy.

3. You Don’t Need the Internet for ‘Research’

Catching up on your YouTube feed, or stalking your idol on Instagram is not research. Lack of research is not keeping you from writing, you’re using it as an excuse. If you’re stuck on historical accuracy or can’t figure out the best way to dispose of a dismembered body, make a note and move on. Research should be saved for your actual down time, not for when you’re supposed to be immersed nose-deep in writing.

4. You Have No Imagination

This excuse is usually combined with one’s belief that they need the internet and television to survive. Your imagination won’t come forth if it’s held in a corner by funny cat gif’s and reruns of The Real Housewives. Go outside. Clean the kitchen. Lock yourself in a room. You have no imagination because you’ve frightened it into a corner by all the crap on the internet. Let the crap go and you’ll find your imagination will start peeking out to see if the coast is clear.

This coming from a talking sponge.

5. Stop Using Your Family as an Excuse

How many times have you used these excuses: I have to cook dinner. I have to help the kids with homework. I have to clean the house. I have to <insert activity to blame on the family> . Now, the single parent superhero aside, when dinner’s done, the homework’s worked, and the kids are in bed, you’d really rather scrub down the toilet than write? Or are you really just sitting on your rear end in front of the TV with your laptop tuned to Facebook? Who are you kidding here? Only yourself. Your family’s not the excuse, you are (see Point #1).

Are you still sitting on your bum reading this? Stop it! Get to writing, you lazy writer!

The INTJ Creative Writer

Or: The Brain of the Mastermind

I’ve wanted to write this post for a while now as I find personality typing fascinating. Knowing your personality type and how it equates to creative writing can help you to understand yourself, how you deal with the inability to write (aka writers block), and how you work through your writing. It can also help you deal with other personality types around you, but for the sake of this post, we’ll stick to the creative writing aspect.

There are 16 personality types, according to Myers-Briggs, the definitive system for sorting brains based on personality type. If you know your type, it can help you learn more about how you function. In this post I hope to share a bit about us oddballs of the world, the INTJ’s, and how we work.

Evil MastermindUs INTJ’s – we don’t think like the rest of you. No really, we don’t; it’s scientifically proven. Personality profiles classify us as either Architects or Masterminds, and that’s exactly what we are. We’re the one’s devising strategy – watching you from the corner, analyzing, gathering information, determining the probability of success. Only after we’ve watched you either succeed or fail, will we then act. And our acts are not small, because deep down inside, we want to change the world (or rule it, but that’s too much work). Fictional characters like Bruce Wayne and Severus Snape are INTJ’s, along with Issac Newton and Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg.

The INTJ Writer

As writers, we can’t just write about anything: we only write about those things that interest us. As technical writers, we’re focused and results-driven, but as creative writers, we tend to be all over the place, mirroring our interests. I’m not sure if I speak for all INTJ’s on this, but within my genre (Young Adult / Teen Fiction), I have several pursuits from high/epic fantasy, to science fiction, to horror all going at any given time. These are the areas that interest me. And when an INTJ becomes interested in something, we consume that something until we’ve learned all there is to learn. We’re abstract, we’re ambitious . . . but only if it’s not a lot of work.

We’re great at the ‘big picture’. We establish the world, determine its boundaries, and then attack with characters, plot, and creationism.

What Makes an INTJ tick?

I – Introversion

Okay, let’s get this straight: Introversion doesn’t automatically mean we’re the shy, anti-social outcast sitting in the corner watching you. True, we are watching you—watching from the sides, gathering information, determining if something is worth our time our not. Our actions are determined from our own internal world. We’re not spur-of-the-moment, we hate surprises – anything we can’t predict is bad. So instead, we watch. The larger the group of people, the more we’ll head to the outside and watch because large groups are unpredictable as opposed to small groups. Keep in mind the Mastermind connotation; we’re quiet and we’re analytical because secretly, we’re gearing up to rule the world while you’re downing your third beer or chatting with your fifth stranger.

Beware the Introverts

It’s always the quiet ones

N – iNtuition

We rely on insight and ‘what’s worked well before’. The information we’ve gathered from our environment and by watching others rules what we ourselves do. It’s not a ‘gut’ feeling, that’s for the INFJ’s of the world.

For me, I hate to be first to do anything because being the first comes with the possibility of failure. I want to sit back in safety, watch, gather information, and then do. I won’t be the first to cross a street in a group of people—I want to watch to see if anyone slips, trips, or gets hit by a car. I won’t be the first in line for anything, although I will wait several places back in that line. I even hate being the first in line at a traffic light. If you want to call me a follower, so be it. I prefer to think of it more as sending a pawn in to battle to determine the best line of entry.

intuition

T – Thinking

When a decision is to be made, we ponder, and we think. Logic is a big part of what we do, simply because we’ve gathered so much information over the years that we’ve seen the patterns, we’ve determined outcomes, and we’ve figured out where things will fail far before the decision starts to mature. We know where this is going.

We’re skeptics; new ideas are bad because they’ve never been tried before and we have no information upon which to base a favourable decision. To say we fear change or the unknown is not exactly accurate; we fear the statistically unknown. Unknown implies failure, and who wants to fail?

Lovecraft

J – Judgement

It’s all about the end game for us. Nothing is more important than seeing a project come full circle and wrap up. We won’t take on anything with a poor likelihood of success unless forced to do so. There’s a possibility we will succeed? Nope, I don’t deal in what is possible, I deal in what is likely, and yes what is possible and what is likely are two different things. And I’ll likely be a pain in your rear end if you drag me into a hopeless project with only the possibility of success.

Ender Wiggins

Ender Wiggins (Ender’s Game) is also an INTJ

How INTJ’s Write

We’re a different type of writer, just as we’re a different type of personality. What may work well for other personality types will bog us down. There’s a perfectionist side to us; a need to get it right. Nothing short of perfect will do. We sweat the small details – is that chair in the corner of the room red or burgundy? What we see in our minds eye has to make it to paper in whole, or we’re not pleased. Some may see us as inefficient where we’re really not moving forward until everything is working like a well-oiled machine. Think of the INTJ’s as quality over quantity.

badwriting_galaxyquest

Go deep or go home

The best way to describe our writing style is ‘deep’. Although our focus may seem narrow (like re-exploring the typical end-of-the-world scenario through the hero’s eyes), we dig into the depths and the corners of that topic and pull out plot lines and twists of which you likely never thought. That’s because we have the big picture already; we know this scenario already. We can then build threads into the story and become the puppet master of our characters. We get those threads in place first – the foundations of the story – and then we dig deep into those foundations.

I couldn't resist an Inception meme

Sorry. I couldn’t resist an Inception meme!

When we start writing, we may start with a scene in the middle of the story and work backwards to the beginning and forwards to the end. As new information comes to the surface, we often need to go back and adjust details in earlier or later parts of the story, all staying within those threads we’ve set up. We’ll adjust and rewrite until we get it perfect.

Leave us alone

When we’re in ‘the zone’, we want to be left alone. Nothing is more annoying than someone bothering us while we’re just trying to get the ideas onto paper. Usually, the inspiration starts externally. For instance, while we’re doing the dishes or mowing the lawn. We think and think until we have a solid understanding of the scene, and then we head to our computers. Interrupt us and we’ll likely turn into huge jerks. For me, I have to write in bed; the family knows when mom’s in bed with her computer, don’t interrupt or she’ll likely rip your head off!

2head.Quiet

We’re predictable, apparently

One aspect of our writing I’m not sure I agree with (but this has been pointed out to me before) is that we tend to be straight-forward, working towards an inevitable conclusion. Our plots are orderly and progress towards the end where there’s one and only one possible resolution. For me, that’s totally not the case in my writing. I enjoy lulling the reader into what they ‘think’ is happening and then hitting them with a curve ball. I’ve left enough clues behind in the writing (at least I think I’ve left enough clues!) that this twist shouldn’t be so shocking . . . and maybe that’s why people say we’re predictable? I don’t know. I’m pretty sure I’ve thrown a couple OMG moments at my beta readers no one saw coming.

Predict THAT!

Predict THAT! – via Instagram

Putting Order to Chaos

We’re pattern solvers and organizers. Another thing about us, and I hate this phrase, is that we think outside the box (bleck!), but not so much so as to pave new roads. We take what’s already known and re-engineer that data. Our antagonists can turn into protagonists and the progression makes perfect sense, or we can save the world in a completely out-of-this-world way. Remember, we’re unparalleled information gatherers and we’ve dropped subtle hints; if you’ve paid attention along the way, you should have seen this coming. Hmm. Maybe we really are predictable!

Things make sense to us, even if they may not make sense to others, and we can present this in a way as to not thoroughly confuse the snot out of our readers. My favourite author, Robert Jordan (The Wheel of Time) is an INTJ, and if you’ve read his series you’ll soon realize there is a huge weaving of plot lines (ha-ha, see what I did there), but they are presented well enough so that you can discern one plot from another. There are plenty of twists and turns, but if you’ve paid attention, these are more of ‘ah-ha!’ moments and less ‘Wow, didn’t see that coming’ moment.

What’s Next?

Man, this post is getting long! I’m going to split it into two parts. In the next post I’ll talk about writers block, because it affects us INTJ’s differently than it affects other writers. I’ll also talk a bit about organizing a novel from the INTJ perspective; being a pantser is a bit out of the realm of INTJ as it involves too much spontaneity, but it works well for me.

Planner_Panter

Are you a Planner or Pantser?

In truth, I’m likely a combo of the two as I do plan, but I mostly pants; that’s where all the best and most off-the-wall ideas come from. Giant pig demon anyone?

Until next post!

– Rissa

Ten Things You’ll Hear When You Tell Friends You’re a Writer

Lion Tamer

I want to be a lion tamer!

(As illustrated with gif’s. Cuz apparently that’s the hip thing to do)

Mention to someone you’re a computer programmer and no one bats an eye. Bus driver? Ah, no big deal. How about a professional lion tamer? Meh, I saw one at the circus last year. But mention you’re a writer and suddenly everyone has an opinion and an uninformed comment on your very passion.

Writers appear to be that niche interest that doesn’t qualify it’s pursuers as being contributing members of society. Likely when you tell someone you’re a writer, you’ll hear the following:

1. “So you write stories all day?”

writing

Yeah that’s totally what I do, between the bus driving and the lion taming. Most indie writers still have full time jobs or attend college, you know.

2. “No, I mean, what’s your real job?”

OfficeSpace

Does writing have to be a job? You make it sound so tedious and unfulfilling. It’s a passion! It’s what gets me out of bed in the morning, aside from the fact that I have to get my butt to work on time.

3. “Oh how much does that make you? You pay your bills writing?”

Rude
I pay my bills the same way you do. It’s none of your cotton-pickin business how much I make.

4. “Well, I’ve always wanted to write a book too. But I’m just too busy with (insert super important thing here)”.

IsntThatSpecial

Hey I do those super important things too, like work, and pay my bills, and take care of my family too. You must not be very good at your super-special important whatever-the-hell you do if you don’t have time to pursue your dreams. Having a writing regimen is no different than having a workout regimen.

5. “Ah you must write under a pen name because I’ve never heard of you.”

eyeroll1

Oh, so you’ve heard of the other 500,000 plus indie authors on Amazon and Barnes and Nobel then? Yeah, didn’t think so.

6. “My father’s brother’s nephew’s cousins’ former roommate knows a writer. He writes in this totally unrelated genre to you. You should ask him for advice.”

spaceballs

Thanks, but that’s what social media and the writers community is for. You wouldn’t take your car to a lawnmower repair shop now would you?

7. “When I retire and have nothing better to do with my time I think I’ll write a book.”

brohoho

Don’t think I don’t see your passive aggressive attempt to put me down for wanting to be creative. You continue doing your own thing I’ll do mine. Far away. In the worlds I’ve created, cuz they’re so much better than your narrow-minded world.

8. “Oh hey. Could you proof read my resume and help me write a cover letter?”

NoAndNo

Read the caption.

9. “Let me read your rough draft!”

Awkward

Let me take a picture of you in your underwear rolling out of bed after a night out drinking. I’ll post it on Facebook, then we’ll call it a deal.

10. “No one reads nowadays.”

YouFunny

Well, I’m pretty certain in order to graduate elementary school, you have to know how to read. Just sayin’.

And just like that, ten of the most common things you will hear.

My work here is done.

peaceout

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